My journey in the Council of Refugee Women in Bulgaria started more than 10 years ago with my meeting with Linda Awanis – an amazing woman who I have the honor of knowing. An acquaintance that has made me over the years think and conduct a dialogue with myself in the direction of – the role of women, patriarchy and equality, feminism, the freedom to be born and live as a woman, the power of arriving in a new, unknown country and to fight every day. Every day in the organization created by Linda is different and she meets people who need help, understanding, companionship, hope for change, survival and giving meaning.

When they ask me: “Why CRWB, why do you work here?” I always say: “I have to give back!” I am a descendant of a White Guard family. Expelled from Russia in 1917, my ancestors found a home in Bulgaria. A country that became a second homeland for my grandfather. Here he began his life again. He arrived with the clothes on his back. An iconographer who sought shelter and work in churches, where he built iconostasis and painted icons. The history of my family is woven by exile, humiliation, loss, rejection and trauma. In Bulgaria, my grandfather fell in love and started a family. In Bulgaria, a good man gave him a table and two chairs – the first possessions of the new family. In Bulgaria – many people helped my grandfather, the man who lost his family, his relatives, the man who claimed to be Polish all his life not to be persecuted. Generations carry history in their hearts, carry it like a backpack on their shoulders – a heavy one. Sometimes we become angry and mad at what happened – we, the descendants, who collected the history of our family; and sometimes – empathetic and helpful, because the history of refugees and asylum seekers is our history, my history. I have to to give back! I have a debt to pay back! I have to repay care, understanding, support, because somewhere out there, a person took care of my grandfather, saved his life, gave him a hand while on his w ay, and I am gr ateful. We live in turbulent times. Many generations carry the trauma of what happened – wars, displacement, trafficking, violence, broken families, lost names and identities. Children inherit the traumas of the generations, sometimes they know, even, but they don’t ask. Living in a peaceful country is a chance to realize what happened to your kin and to build a new future and present, in which you remember your past with respect. My journey continues for me to convey, to remember that every good thing done in our lives will find its mark in time.